Classic sports films that deserve a remake or sequel

There aren’t any sports, but there are sports movies, and we want more.

By Patrick Babbitt

 

With the official announcement of the “Space Jam” remake starring Lebron James we’ve been wondering which other classic sports movies deserve a remake. Here’s a list of some options. We even went to the trouble of giving out some story ideas.

“Mighty Ducks”

Ah yes, Mighty Ducks, a movie so popular Disney bought a hockey team and named it after the film. Also, one of the only kids movies to start with a drunk driving arrest. By court order, Emilio Estevez must whip a bunch of lames into a champion hockey team. Why remake this film? Well, first off, hockey could use the help. Plus Joshua Jackson is the perfect age to play the coach, reprising his role. The rival team would be coached by Kenan Thomson, and they’d only shoot knuckle pucks. This thing writes itself.

“Airborne” 

Was “Airborne” a hockey movie? Or a rollerblading movie? Or wait, wasn’t there also surfing in it? These questions are what make this movie fantastic. We haven’t had an insane sports mashup film in years. In the remake, the lead will join a field hockey team but also learn the beautiful sport of horse dancing. Like the original, the film will end in a race down the streets of Cincinnati, except instead of rollerblades they will be on hoverboards.

“Ed” 

SB Nation calls “Ed,” “The Worst Sports Movie Ever Made.” Which only means one thing: it must be remade to prove its worth. The 1996 movie starring Matt Leblanc and a chimpanzee has a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes. The new movie will be called Ed rEDemption, and a juicing controversy will take place. A chimpanzee will break the single-season home run record but will have to testify to congress months later. The chimp will speak sign language and also record a country album.

“Teen Wolf”

They already remade “Teen Wolf,” we know. However, the MTV show remake had nothing to do with basketball. The original film was mostly a basketball movie with just a little bit of werewolf content. Okay, so maybe there was a lot of werewolf stuff. This remake will star Steph Curry and he will decide if the world is ready for a monster NBA player. He will be a one-and-done rookie, just 19 years old to maintain the “teen” aspect of “Teen Wolf.”

“6th Man”

6th Man is a 1997 college basketball movie where Marlon Wayans is assisted by his deceased brother supernaturally. The remake will be the horror movie it was meant to be. The lead will be plagued with night terrors and sights of mutilated fans and teammates. The only way to stop the visions will be to win a national championship. It will be directed by “Midsommar” and “Hereditary” director, Ari Aster.

“The Air Up There”

“The Air Up There,” starred Kevin Bacon as a scout who finds an all-star recruit in Africa. In the remake, he’ll reprise his role except he’ll now be an NBA GM for the Toronto Raptors. He will find a young talent when the NBA starts a Basketball Without Borders program in Central Africa. There he will find a young talent named “Pascal Siakam” and will guide him on his career in basketball. Okay, we need to fess up, this is a real story. Pascal Siakam’s life deserves a biopic. Just look him up if you don’t believe us.